Fascism v America

With the administrations recent attempts to retake the work 'Fascist' and make it apply to people other than them, everyone and their dog is feeling the need to put in their 2¢. Here is mine.

First and foremost, I am opposed to fascism. I am opposed to it in any form, be it theocratic, aristocratic or democratic. Fascism is bad, folks. You heard it here first.

As I was digging around for source material, I came across Fourteen Defining Characteristics Of Fascism by Dr. Lawrence Britt . I cannot attest to this document having any more value than any other. Its primary accomplishments are (a) being ranked highly by Google for the word 'fascism' and (b) amusing me. Why did it amuse me? I immediately began looking at it as a check list for this administration. Sort of a contest of Fascism versus the Soul of America.

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism

1 Point Fascism.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights

2 Points Fascism.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause

3 Points Fascism. Come on America!

4. Supremacy of the Military

Folks, it looked like a close call, but after reading the definition:

Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

it is an easy point for the fascists.

5. Rampant Sexism

Hey folks, I think we can win this one!

The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution.

Abortion is still holding, though tenuously. Divorce seems unchallenged. However, homosexuality is under assault. It could be argued that gender roles are stiffening, but I am willing to give this one to the administration. So far the score is Fascists 4, America 1.

6. Controlled Mass Media

Arguments can be made for this, what with Fox News and the administrations ham-fisted to suppress information, but on the whole, we are doing OK here.

7. Obsession with National Security

Point Fascism.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined

There have been more attempts this administration than any other I remember, but they have not made that much progress... yet. Still, score one for America.

9. Corporate Power is Protected

Point Fascism.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed

Hmmm... Not sure where I fall on this. I will give them the benefit of the doubt. Fascists 6, America 4.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts

You can argue this one if you want, but I think that the administration gets this one. The way they are treating the FDA and NASA, as well as the joke that is funding for the arts... it does not bode well. Point Fascism.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment

Patriot Act! Enemy Combatants! Point Fascism!

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption

Can I give them 2 marks for this one? I guess not. Point Fascism.

14. Fraudulent Elections

Ooooohhh they tried. They are still trying. Diebold is one example (why anyone is still believing their BS is beyond me). However, from The Raw Story we have this

A nation-wide push for laws to target voter fraud is likely to disqualify many who are legally eligible to vote, the PBS program NOW will claim in a segment tomorrow night titled, "Your right to vote -- is it under assault?"

Still, they have not gotten it yet. 1 point America.

Well folks, there you have it. The fascists in the administration are crushing the soul of America 9 to 5. Sleep well and think free.

Milkmen for Stuart

Monroe, thank you. This is a beautiful thing. A truly beautiful legacy to leave for my son.

The Dead Milkmen play "Stuart" off of Beelzebubba

From PLLyrics.com

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians. I swear to God.

You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park.

A List, B List or Shit List

"Did you read my blog today?"

"No, not yet. I haven't yet added it to my blog list."

"You should."

"Now the tender question of A list or B list."

[much laughing]

"Oh no! You're going to blog this, aren't you? I read about this in other people's blogs. It's not supposed to happen to me."

The Ultimate Norton Family Car

So, I have a dream car. Take a Subaru Outback, put a hybrid engine in it. Now strech the thing out about 3'. With all this extra room, we will be widening the doors. Either sliding doors (both sides) or double doors with no central column. Front doors remain conventional. Now, add two rear facing seats begind the two front seats, so that they share footspace with the rear bench. Bench and second row both fold down to make a big trunk.

Zappa on Crossfire

The man himself: "The biggest threat to America today is not Communism. It's moving America toward a fascist theocracy, and everything thats happened during the Reagan administration is steering us right down that pipe."

You shoot a person. You have sex with a person.
One is legal to show, the other is legal to do.

That is so wrong.

The Truth v. The Facts

Before I go off on a couple of rants, I wanted to clarify something. Some people get the truth and the facts confused. Just because something is true does not make it factual. For example, sometimes in the forest, you will see a ring of mushrooms growing. Why do they grow in a ring? Well, there is a fungus that grows from a central point and only puts up fruit on it's periphery. That is the facts. The truth is that, on the nights of the full moon, fairies come out to dance in the moonlight. They dance in circles, and where their feet land, mushrooms grow. If you sleep within one of these fairy rings, they may take umbrage and cart you off to Arcadia.

With this in mind, I think that the Bible is the truth, I just don't think it has much to do with the facts.

Free Bad Coffee!

WTF! OMG! Free coffee does not suck. As much as I may not like Starbucks, I love coffee, and I love free. Make sure you hit the freestanding Starbucks. They would not take the card at the one in Freddies.

Update: This is legit, folks. Call Starbucks at 1-800-235-2883 if you have problems at any locations.

Update 2: Hurm. It may just be for an "iced coffee" not any drink. I am checking with Starbucks.

Update 3: Just coffee over ice. Ick.

Virginia's Song

So, I got the following iChat from Sus.

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Here's a new song from Virg, she wants it to be on your blog.

Son dist, I love this song today...
It's great to be something
And sing this song every day....
Will you head every day...
Do it today and tomorrow
It's a great thing to do-hoo-hoo
And when you do it the best things
Do it the best thi-hii-hiings
And when you do it, it's part to want it
Anybody will do it
And your connie will know it
And that's the end of my so-o-ong!

Everybody knows it!

Virginia's Quotations

One more from Sus.

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I actually managed to write these down for once.

-Sus

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Today's the fitz fammy."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that the show has beginned! And here... [Vanna wave] are all my wonderful creatures, marching around the room!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Know what I have?"
"What?"
"Bugs in my hand."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"When you go down and down and down and you plop on the road, I catch you in my arms on the sidewalk! And that's amazing!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"There was just a young show that I've never seen before. And it was dangerous...and I tried to watch it backwards...but it stumbled off in its own direction...so I just had to watch it."

Lullabies by Virg

Another one from aunt Sus

---

So usually when I put Virginia to bed, I sing her some lullabies to help her get to sleep. Scarborough Fair, Rainbow Connection, Brahms' Lullaby, whatever slow sleepy songs I can think of.

Well, lately, she's taken to "helping" me with the lullabies. Aside from the fact that Virginia brainstorming lyrics is not exactly conducive to sleepiness, it's pretty darned adorable. For instance, Brahms' Lullay is now required to start like this:

Lullaby and goodnight
May your dreams come true...

The rest is up to me, but by God if her dreams don't come true in that song, I'm in hot water.

Last night, however, we had a complete departure from the repertoire. Virginia decided that she needed to make up her own lullabies. And this is what we got:

If you have an egg
I'll give you half a pie
And if you eat it up
I'll give you another pie
And if you do that
I'll
Go
Home.

--And another potential Top 40 Hit:

When you have a rainbow ball
You can give me lots of pens
And when you have a lot
You can give them to your daughter
And when you have a lot
You can give them to your daughter
And when the stars are over
You go to sleep.

So next time you've got a fussy child on your hands, by all means feel free to make use of one of these classics. Just be sure to say "Copyright Virginia Mellinger" at the end.

Sus

note to Tory from Virg

Got this in a e-mail from aunt Sus.

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nyyyyhyyyyyybnhnyyyyyyyynnnnnnnnnnnnffyhhhhhhhhhhhhhyygnhy fgggggggggggggglllllllllllllllllllnhlbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbblnbtnubbbbbbbnbbbbbbbbbbbbybbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbynkkkkkkkk',',m,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, nnnnnnyyyyyyyyy yyyyt89t766666666666yyyyyyyyyy uhhhuuhyuyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiuuuuuiuuuiggiiioigggggggkkkmmmnnn,m,k kjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkmjkmjmkmjknnjmmmmjjnnnnnnnnjjjjjjnjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjnnnnnnjjjjuytttttttiiiiuikjhhhhhhnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnuuuyuuuuuiuyuuuuuuyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiuiiiuiioooooiniio,jkiuyyyuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuui iuuuuuuuuuuuuuh hj8jj8uuuuuuuuuuuuuupuuhyyuyiiyhhiyujujuyu

[transcribed]
Dear Tory,

I miss you so much. I hope you will be here, and nothing will be good without your Daddy. And this would be so good, very good, very very very good, and nothing would be good without your Daddy too! And so they went walking off in a great big museum. And this makes me happier than I ever felt before. And some things are not true in every line of this computer, and nothing is true when I do everything that Mommy does, and nothing is true unless I do it. I OK, I OK. And that means I love you in Spanish. And I really really do, so that's why I do it. And this I-N-D means I love you in Spanish and in Arguld. And I love you and that's true. Good night!

Softening the Blow

So, we were leaving the mall, and everyone was tired, hungry and touchy. I was holding StuBert and Joh was holding Tory's hand. Tory started... singing? Yelling? It's a fine line. Anyway, she is going full volume about 4 feet behind me. I popped a breaker.

"Tory! Please! Stop yelling!"

I immediately feel bad. Nothing like snapping at my girl to bring on the guild. Quickly, I come up with a plan to soften the blow.

"Tory. Stop talking. Stop thinking. Stop breathing. Stop smiling. Stop having fun. Stop walking."

"Daddy, I am having fun."

"Well stop it. And quit smiling."

Joh chimes in. "Don't get in the car."

"That's right. Stay out of the car and don't get in your car seat."

"I am in my car seat and having fun."

"Well, stop it."

Mission accomplished.

Blind One-Legged Albino Golfers

The internet is a beautiful thing. No matter how small your niche is, you can find the rest of them out there. You could be a blind, one-legged albino golfer. You get on the web, sign up for the newsletter, join the discussion forum, and you are part of a community. That is a wonderful thing.

StoryWhore v. The StoryWhore

So, as you may or may not know, there is another StoryWhore. I am stealing her name, best as I can. I don't feel bad about this, for a number of reasons:

1. We have different markets. Hers is readers of adult/pronographic fiction. Mine is... ah... me, I guess. And Tom. Probably my wif. OK, so those are not really different market segments, but mine is smaller.

2. She posted for two months in 2004. I am starting nearly 2 years after her last activity. If she had any contact info available, I would contact her and ask. She doesn't, so I can't. Unfortunately (or fortunately), there is no limit on blogger inactivity.

3. I couldn't come up with a better name.

My Name

This is the story of how I got my name. You want the facts, talk to someone else. When I was born, the Nurses and Doctors pleaded with my mother: "You have to give him a name." "We need a name to put on the birth certificate." My Mom: "I am not naming him. You do what you need to, but I am not getting into the middle of this." You see, my Father (Victor Thane Norton Jr.) had talked to my Granddaddy (Victor Thane Norton Sr.) and told him that he needed to visit my great uncle Homer, Granddaddy's brother, who was on his death bed. If Granddaddy went to visit him, the boy would be named Victor Thane Norton III. Otherwise, Homer Scott Norton. One might think that this was an easy choice. Not for Granddaddy. I have heard that he was not on speaking terms with Homer, probably over a card game where Granddaddy was caught cheating. Regardless, Homer was in Chicago, and it was Winter. Whenever Granddaddy went to a city with snow, he got pneumonia. For those who have not had pneumonia, this is a serious concern, but that is a different story. However, Granddaddy wanted to have a III more than he wanted to stay healthy, so he went. He got in and out of that city as fast as he could, but he still got pneumonia. And I got my name.

Tory and the Sprinkler

A few days ago, Tory asked Joh if she could use the sprinkler as a
mower (it looks like a shower-head on a long handle). Joh said yes,
and Tory began walking around the yard with it. Soon she was running
with it and, wouldn't you know it, *POW*, it hits something. Well,
the base of it popped her right in the mons. OUCH! Well, when I put
her to bed, there was a nice circular bruise. Poor girl.

Tory's first dentist appointment

So, Tory went to the dentist yesterday. Nothing much to tell, except that John Furz's friend Sammer was her dentist. "I have a picture of you with my dog" I believe was the quote.

Tom made me do it.

(sigh). tom begged me to start a blog, so i did.