My First Trip to the ER

My Mom told me the story about my first trip to the ER. It seems that I was 6 months old and crawling all over creation. I managed, somehow, to crawl up a broom. When I fell off I cut my head and went off to the ER. A portent of things to come. Remind me to tell you about the time I almost killed myself on my Mother's Birthday.

Too Dumb to be Republican

Oh dear. Some people are just too stupid. It seems that a congressional aid attempted to solicit the services of a hacker to alter his grades. Unfortunately, he chose to do so by e-mailing the security site attrition.org. The complete transcript is up, but it has been slashdotted. I post here some excerpts:

Todd Shriber
I need to urgently make contact with a hacker that would be interested in doing a one-time job for me. The pay would be good. I'm not sure what exactly the job would entail with respect to computer jargon, but I can go into rough detail upon making contact with a candidate. Thanks for your help.

security curmudgeon
So, I need three things to make this happen:

1. A picture of a squirrel or pigeon on your campus. One close-up, one with background that shows buildings, a sign, or something to indicate you are standing on the campus.

2. The information I mentioned so I can find the records once I get into the database.

3. Some idea of what I get for all my trouble.

lyger
todd... no more.. omfg we are SO busted.. fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK everything was PERFECT until their night noc ran a reverse udp traceroute back to one of the hosts we had set up after that, straight DOWNHILL. i've already been called twice by my isp asking about unusual activity, some other shit about access attempts to a federally monitored system they have everything in logs including the rot-26 stuff that finally got me access all goes back to your login sorry i really fucked up BAD

Too stupid. Way too stupid. I don't even think that this qualifies for the 'culture of corruption' category.

One Fried Helicopter

We rock. And I quote:

Thank you Wacom. You rock !

Zune Poon

It seems that a couple from Chi-town got their girl a Zune. As if that wasn't insult enough, it was preloaded with pr0n. Ho mo sexual pr0n. 5 men, no holds barred action. I don't think that that is the squirting that Bill had in mind.

The Road to Success

I heard something I found amusing, in a painful sort of way.

from ajc.com

Asked if any of the recommendations he's heard so far were new to him, Bush said, "I've heard some ideas that would lead to defeat."

"And I reject those ideas, ideas such as leaving before the job is done, ideas such as not helping this (Iraqi) government take the necessary and hard steps to be able to do its job," Bush said.

I have also heard "some ideas that would lead to defeat." What I have not heard are any ideas that would lead to success. If all options are bad, Mr. Bush, should we not seek to choose the least bad option? If all roads lead to defeat, should we not just lose and get it over with? Then, at least, we can go win at something else.

Democrats Call for More Effort

As the chairman of the "Just get something done" party, I am in favor of the Democrats new position on the congressional work week. While having a job that is Monday through Friday sucks, as their employer, I expect nothing less. Also, starting on the 4th of January instead of the end of the month is a positive move. One Republican in Congress made the mistake of saying: "Marriages suffer. The Democrats couldn't care less about families -- that's what this says." This was rebutted by just about everyone, but the members of the military I think had the best response.

Five-day work week will double Congress's workload

What kind of Pirate am I?

Apparently, you, fair readers, are the only ones who can decide.

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Can you Name it?

A reall poser of a question has been asked here at Wacom Engineering think tank. Given the set of foods Y that are yummy, the set of foods B that go well with bacon, and the set of foods C that go well with chocolate, is there an element of Y that is nither an element of B nor C? Sushi was proposed, but Mikey shot that down (bacon rapped nigiri). Items that are a member of all three sets are easy to think of, namely bacon and chocolate. Tell me you wouldn't eat chocolate covered bacon! Well I would, and that's all that really matters, now isn't it.

I am Emperor Joshua Abraham Norton the First

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.