Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Choking is not Swallowing

The names of parents have been omitted to protect the guilty

OK, Stuart. What have you got now?

What is it?

Just a outlet-protector. I guess you can't choke on that.

(Later... sounds of Stuart choking)

OK, I guess you can't swallow it, but you can still get the whole thing in your mouth and choke on it.

Monday, February 26, 2007

There was a little girl...

Chapter 1: "There was a little girl"

There was a little girl, and she lived with her mom. And she had a play structure.

Chapter 2: "Wood Creepy Girl"

There was a little girl, and she lived. she was big enough to live by herself. She lived in a hut in the middle of the woods, but the woods were creepy and so she never dared go near the woods.

This story is for Daddy.

As told to Mommy by Tory on January 5th, 2007.

Friday, February 23, 2007

There's No Need to Fear!

Underdog. This is one of the purest, most unsullied image from my childhood. His rhymes, his shoeshines, and Sweet Polly Purebred. There is one episode on YouTube for those of you who were not so blessed. Well, Disney has decided to sully the memory. No rhymes, no polly, a dog who is barely anthropomorphic. Ah well.

The Underdog Trailer

Mick is on Drugs

This is an assumption I have made given these posts:

Seek help, Mick.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Thane on Lent

Today is the beginning of Lent. This year, I have chosen to give up computer games. I don't usually give things up, but I do on occasion. Now, why on gods green earth would I?

The idea, for me at least, is that of mindfulness. Any time I would play a game, I will (hopefully) think about all of the blessings in my life. I mean, it boggles the mind that I could give up something so trivial and have it feel that I am actually a sacrificing.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I have a Network Closet

More like a network cupboard, really. See, Joh uses the Powerbook upstairs, and it has some troubles with reception. Despite everything I tried, it could not keep a connection. The only thing that worked was to move the base station to the first floor and turn on the wireless card in my desktop. So, to make the hash of hardware that puts the tube in our house acceptable in the living room, I had to conceal it. So I drilled a hole in the back of the cupboards and moved all of the hardware into there. Made reception much better for all parties, except me. To keep me happy, I set the router to reboot every 60 seconds if it cannot find my machine. If pappa ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Good for What Ails You

I have a cough.

This is no mamby-pamby cough either. I am hacking up smurfs (as Monroe would say) the size of my right fore-arm (as Karl would say). I don't think I have pneumonia, but then I didn't think I had it the last time either. I just thought I broke a rib.

Regardless, when I have a bad cough, there is a home remedy that I turn to. It has arguable medicinal value, but it inarguably makes you feel better.

The 1/2 cup Whiskey Sour.

Take 1/2 cup of lemon juice, add 1/2 cup honey. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Mix until well blended. Nuking it just makes it easier to mix, so do more or less to your liking. Add 3 ice cubes to cool it to a reasonable temperature, and then add 1/2 cup of whiskey. Cheap is fine. I use Potters. Sip it over the course of the evening, and then slam what's left just before bed. Probably should take an acid blocker, if you are prone to heartburn.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Be Mine

Amongst the many wonderful Valentines that were exchanges in and around our family today, the most memorable is probably the one that Henry, the neighbor boy, gave Tory. It is an 8.5x11 sheet of pink paper, with large hearts and paper doilies on it. On it, Henry wrote "I love you". However, he wrote it "I llF U". This would be cute, but unmemorable, except that the ll and the F were separated by nearly the entire sheet of paper, and placed next to the other letters. I immediately saw "I'll F U". Wendy's comment was "Our family tends to start a little early."

Gay Marriage Group's Measure: Kids Or Annulment

I think this is awesome. If any of you think that this is a joke, then shame on you. This is a group of people telling the Christian right "Put your money where your mouth is." Under this law, people who wait more than 3 yeas to have children, like Johanna and I, would have their marriages annulled. For those who don't know the background, this is a direct response to this ruling (PDF) written by Justice Barbara Madsen about the states Defense of Marriage Act stating (page 6):

Under this standard, DOMA is constitutional because the legislature was entitled to believe that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples furthers procreation, essential to survival of the human race, and furthers the well-being of children by encouraging families where children are reared in homes headed by the children’s biological parents. Allowing same-sex couples to marry does not, in the legislature’s view, further these purposes. Accordingly, there is no violation of the privileges and immunities clause.
Personally, I would have the law define a marriage as the birth of a child, causing the two people who made the child to be married. That is even more absurd, and even more in keeping with the Court's ruling. I hope this passes.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Things Tory Says

It is so strange hearing things we say reflected back at us through Tory. The strange ones we trained her on we are used to. "Where are we going?" "Planet ten!" "When are we leaving?" "Real soon!" It's the other stuff. Things like "Well that's just crazy talk." Recently she started a new one, and I am not sure where it came from. So, we are eating dinner, having a new dish. Tory's response to said dish is "Well of course 'Ick', Daddy!" I am apparently supposed to predict how Tory will respond to new dishes. I guess that is not terribly surprising, but Joh and I have gotten some laughs out of it. "Well of course she's too tired, Mama."

I guess you had to be there.

Splishing and Splashing

So, Stuart was not too keen on having baths. I didn't much like him getting them, because they washed away all of the wonderful baby smell. Unfortunately, all of that baby smell seems to have worn off. Now he smells vaguely like his mother. Anyway, up until this weekend, he was none too keen on having a bath. This weekend, however, he discovered splashing. Not just a little bit, mind you. We are talking four limbs flailing. He sends water everywhere. So, it seems like we will not have to worry about him getting pissed off in the tub anymore.

Getting out of the tub is another story entirely.

I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper

Well, I didn't, but if you set your wayback machine to 1978 you can hear how Sarah Brightman did. I just don't know what to do with this. Disco + Dr. Who is the best I can come up with. Probably with a fair amount of cocaine. Thanks Monroe.

If that was not enough, jump ahead to 1979 and you get the pseudo live version. Not any better, but the stage show is funnier.

Monday, February 12, 2007

3 Barreled Flintlock Revolver

No gun made Today could hope to be this cool.

Top Gear - Season 9 Episode 3 - Part 6 / 7

3 Brits get the chance to paint a co-stars car with whatever they want in an effort to get the fellow co-star killed as they drive across Alabama. Hilarity ensues.

Update: Changed the video. Really starts to pick up after 2:00. The shit hits the fan around 5:00.

Update 2: Video tends to get out of sync. Just pause, move the thumb and start again.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the ER we go

So, yesterday, Tory fell down the stairs.

This was no small fall, either. No tumbling down the stairs. She slipped coming up from the basement and fell off of one flight and onto the next. When Joh got there, Tory was crying and complaining that her hand hurt. Well, Joh piled everyone into the car and headed for the ER. 3 hours later, they were able to tell her that Tory had no broken bones, and that we should ice it and give her Ibuprofin. Since she was not told how long it would be till anyone could see her, she had to wait in the (cold hard) waiting room. Couldn't wander around, maybe to some place that Stuart could crawl around. Nor to the pharmacy, 100 ft away, where she had a perscription waiting. Time was so tight between the Dr finally discharging them and our meeting at the pre-school, that everyone ate PB&Js in the car. Joy!

At least Tory is alright. Oh wait, didn't I mension that everyone but me is sick! FUN! Sleep well. I know I won't.